Archive for April, 2005

It must look strange if you have never seen a first communion before. The sight of dozens of little girls dressed up in white frilly dresses, tiaras, dainty shoes and veils accompanied into a packed church by dozens of little boys kitted out like miniature Nickys from Westlife.

�Mummy, mummy, mummy, I want a Kit Kat.� �No, darling, you can’t have a Kit Kat, have an apple instead.� �Why can’t I have chocolate?� “Well, because too much chocolate will rot your teeth, make you fat, possibly leading to obesity, heart problems and diabetes.” “What’s diabetes?” “Diabetes is one of the fastest growing ailments in Ireland and doctors say it is related to bad diet and specifically too much sugar.”

The sun, the blue skies, the beach, fresh fish, fresh fruit, good wine, authentic locals, no traffic, no hassle, every day a dream. And, of course, capital gains.

The ambulance arrived in ten minutes. The old man, his lungs destroyed by pneumatic spasms, was taken gingerly from his sick bed by two humane, good-humoured ambulance men.

They reassured him that all would be fine, even though it was clear he was very ill.